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It’s normal to feel a twinge of anxiety when accepting a new assignment or challenge.  You wonder if you will measure up or “How long before everyone figures out I don’t have a clue what I’m doing?”

Christian leadership coaching, leadership development, leadership skills, executive coaching

Transitions in the workplace can be personally and professionally fulfilling, but hard to manage. Switching roles and increasing responsibility means not only adjusting to new tasks, but to new relationships with those around you. Moving outside your comfort zone can soon feel overwhelming. In these situations, it is normal to experience some self-doubt, fear, and uncertainty.

But too much negative self-talk can start a downward spiral and reduce your chance of success. It can keep you feeling inadequate and unsure of yourself. Left unchallenged, your “inner critic” will reduce your self-esteem and stifle your professional development and advancement.

The inner critic can and must be countered. These 5 strategies can help you develop a positive inner voice and a resolve that will bolster your confidence:

1. Lower your standards.
Yes, that’s right. Stop trying to be perfect! You don’t need to know everything right when you start (or ever, really). High achievers have unsustainably high standards for everything they do. Set your new standard as “effective” rather than perfect. Perfection is unattainable so stop holding yourself hostage and celebrate the strengths you have. Relax and don’t demand so much of yourself.

2. Eliminate “all or nothing” thinking. What you may be telling yourself is, “If I don’t know everything, then I know nothing. If it’s not absolutely perfect, it’s completely worthless. If I’m not at the top of my game, then I’m totally incompetent.”

Stop being your own worst enemy. Without trying to change yourself, start to observe the situations where you judge, evaluate, and critique yourself. The more aware you become, the more your responses will shift on their own. And don’t waste energy ruminating on mistakes. When professional athletes don’t win the big game, they watch the playback tape, learn what they can do better next time, and get back into the game.

3. Find your strengths. Try to balance your negative thoughts with a greater number of positive ones. Keep a list of your ongoing accomplishments throughout the year. When you’re feeling unsure of yourself, use this list to remember all you have already achieved.

While achievements are great, keep in mind that your true value comes from within – separate and distinct from your performance or others’ opinions. Stay focused on the personal value that you bring to the table. If you don’t already know your strengths, I recommend using a self-assessment tool like the StrengthsFinder 2.0 or the the VIA Survey of Character Strengths (it’s free!) to identify your positive qualities. And celebrate them!

4. Take action. You will gain confidence by taking a step forward. Often you feel stress because you freeze in panic and wind up procrastinating. Leaving things for later only increases your feelings of incompetence. Deal with issues head on, and cross items off your to-do list. Taking the first steps will allow you to truly own what you are capable of doing well. You’ll discover a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment that will ease the voice in your head saying you’re not good enough.

5. Get support. It’s ok to ask for help. Surround yourself with people that recognize your talents and can remind you when you forget. Typically there is no one harder on you than yourself, so you need friends and family to give you confidence, especially when you don’t feel like you deserve it.

When you feel like you’re barely keeping your head above the water, hang in there! The most exciting things in life happen just on the other side of your comfort zone.


Life can bring all kinds of stressors, including divorce, the death of a loved one, relentless job and family demands, or a career setback.  Unfortunately, most people don’t have the coping skills they need to meet these challenges.

*** Surprises are the new normal; resilience is the new skill. ***

Fifty years of research in the psychological sciences has given us a good grasp of what makes someone RESILIENT. Resilience is a skill that allows you to cope with challenges with greater clarity and inner strength. Resilient people not only survive after a setback, they come back stronger and wiser.

Fortunately, we now know that resilience can be developed. Think of resilience as an emotional muscle that can be strengthened at any time. There are specific action steps you can take to speed up your emotional recovery in times of stress.


  • understand what resilience is
  • develop skills to create a resilient mindset
  • manage anxiety, fear, and focus when you’re in the “eye of the storm”
  • face challenges with more clarity and positivity
  • increase your self-awareness to control over-thinking and worry
  • overcome obstacles and find peace despite stress and chaos
  • enhance your life purpose, satisfaction, and success

Discover how to boost your own resilience here:

Dr. Stefani Yorges

I am a psychologist and professional leadership coach. I partner with people who want to rise to their full potential so they can have an increasingly greater impact on others.

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